The other morning my dad was outside mowing the lawn. The mower turned off and then I heard him yell. I went outside to see what he was yelling about, and when I did I saw he had the lawn mower upside down. I asked him what happened and he said that he had mowed over poop.
”I don’t know how I missed this! And look now!” He was yelling and pointing to the driveway. In the grass clippings was poop bits. He was yelling about how he was going to have to hose out the mower. It smelled awful.
He was mad most of all because we don’t have a dog. Our neighbor has one, and my dad said the neighbor’s dog was pooping in our yard. I’ve seen the dog in our yard a lot. He jogs over, sniffing here and there, and then he picks a spot and pees or poops. He is a big chocolate lab, and he chases our cats, too. I think the neighbor hates our cats being on his car so he lets the dog poop on our yard. He and my dad aren't friends.
Well, this weekend my dad and the neighbor finally got in a big fight about dog poop. My dad was sitting in the living room with us watching TV and he saw the chocolate lab in our yard. He said, “I’m sick of this shit.” He went out back. I followed him outside but he pointed me back in the house. I stood in the living room and watched the dog poop by one of our trees. Then, out of nowhere, my dad came around from the other side of the house with the hose and he opened fire on the dog. Since he was standing in between the dog’s owner's yard and our yard the dog couldn’t get back into its own territory. It ran the other way and into the street, and then it ran back into its yard.
A minute later I heard yelling. This was too much not to see so I went outside on our porch. The neighbor was yelling at my dad because the dog went into the house wet. This made the neighbor really mad because my dad "had no right to squirt his dog". I thought there was going to be a fight or something. When I thought it couldn’t get any worse my dad squirted the neighbor. I couldn't believe it. He just pointed the hose at the guy and pressed the handle, and he squirted the guy right in his stomach and chest. The neighbor made this closed-eye squint and put his hands out in front of him. Then he ran back into his house, screaming about the cops. Then my dad grabbed our shovel out of the garage and flung the dog poop into the neighbor’s yard. I never saw my dad act like this.
I was afraid the cops were going to come out and arrest my dad but they never showed up. My dad said it was because squirting someone with the hose is no big deal, and because the guy never picked up his dog’s poop. It has been three days since this and I haven’t seen the dog in our yard, but I have seen the neighbor’s wife with the dog on a leash walking more. I guess she doesn’t want any more fighting between her husband and my dad.
My mom asked why he didn’t do this before because she’s asked him a few times to do something about the dog. My dad said that this time he got poop bits on his ankles from the mower. When he realized he had poop on him he lost it.
"Well, I wish you would have gotten poop on you three years ago," she told him. Gross.
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